It has been said that “opposites” attract…one of several definitions Webster gives for the word opposite (which happens to be my favorite) is “being the other of a pair that are corresponding or complementary in position, function, or nature.” Paula Abdul wrote about opposites in a song appropriately titled, “Opposites Attract” in 1989. Likewise, Amy Grant wrote about them in “Good For Me” in 1992.
To look at CJ and me on the outside, there are many obvious opposites. Our skin color. Our gender. Our height. Our eye color. Our hair color, style, and length. Aside from the physical evidence, we are quite opposite in many other ways.
· CJ has a passion for basketball and excels in the sport (to be quite honest, CJ excels in anything competitive). Me? I’m lucky if I can shoot a free throw after 15 attempts. I have a passion for coffee, reading, and blogging.
· CJ is a homebody. I thrive in public…it really doesn’t matter where, I just love being out.
· Our taste in music, for the most part, is a polar opposite. The only rap music I care to hear is what CJ, himself, writes and speaks.
· CJ enjoys dancing…I lack rhythm and prefer to only show my goofy dance skills in the privacy of our own home (this promotes problems at every wedding we attend).
· CJ loves any fruity candy…I am a chocoholic.
· I have three tattoos…CJ wishes I had none.
· CJ enjoys action-packed, high adventure movies…I prefer hopeless romantic dramas.
· CJ is a procrastinator…I would rather get things done yesterday!
On the flipside, some of our differences have actually helped one another grow…
· CJ has taught me so much about faith and not being fearful. I have really grown in my faith since CJ has been in my life. He is still trying to teach me to not sweat the small stuff. Although I still fail at this A LOT, CJ continues to believe in me and help me through it.
· I have taught CJ quite a bit about responsibilities in life and self-motivation…not waiting around for others to do things for him, but stepping up and doing things himself.
I could sit here all day and continue to list all of our opposites, but somehow, despite our differences, I wouldn’t doubt for an instant that God brought us together. We have spent the last three years in our marriage working out differences and are really learning to accept one another despite them. In my opinion, this past year of our marriage has been the best. Both CJ and I have made a conscious effort to allow God to clean out a lot of ugliness in our hearts and change us. It all started when our Church decided to go through a Heart Check series (thank you SO much to the Pastors at LWC for this). About halfway through Heart Check, I decided to begin The Love Dare book in secrecy. I wanted to work on my heart without having any expectations of CJ. About ¾ of the way through, CJ discovered my secret and expressed interest in The Love Dare as well. We both completed the book, and our marriage has grown tremendously. We would not be where we are today if God hadn’t used both Heart Check and The Love Dare to speak to us.
Our differences will probably always be just that…differences. It doesn’t mean that we can’t get past them or even accept them. It doesn’t mean we weren’t meant for one another or that we have to make a huge ordeal about them. On a deeper level, which I won’t go into for the world to read, there are areas in both of our lives that the other would like to see completely changed. But we have come to the realization that we cannot change one another…only God can. Why spend so much time and energy getting hurt and frustrated over things that we have no power to change? We have truly learned to love one another through those issues…and have given them over to God.
On this 3rd anniversary of our marriage, I would just like to publicly thank God for sending CJ to me on September 24, 2004. It seems like a lifetime ago since I turned around in my chair (at ECHO) to see Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome himself walk through the door. We have been through a lot of ups and downs, just as every other marriage endures, but with God’s strength, we have learned a lot about ourselves and each other. Being a wife is a huge responsibility…I know I will never be perfect, but I do pray that I can be the kind of woman that CJ can be proud to say is his wife. I want him to always look forward to coming home to me. I want to place all of my expectations of CJ at the foot of the cross. I do not want to burden CJ in any way with fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to God. I want to continue to love him for him…and not try to change him. I want to not only be his wife, but his best friend, helpmate, and support system.
CJ, I love you more than words can express. You mean the world to me, and I am so blessed to call you my husband. I pray that this next year of marriage is our best one yet…and that we allow God to continue growing and changing our hearts towards one another. Thank you for your constant flow of love, support, and acceptance. I look forward to growing old with you. I am glad that our opposites attract. And despite our numerous opposites, we share the greatest attraction anyone could ever need…our relationship with God. I love you. Happy 3rd Anniversary. XOXO
1 comment:
To quote Triniti: "Awwwwwwwwwww!!"
That was SO sweet, Lori. You have such a way with words. This is one way to be creative in times of "less"... it just goes to show that you don't have to spend money to "give" something to your spouse... what better way to honor (him) than with words?
Dad and I love you both so much!!
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