"Ode to Mothers"

Mother’s Day 2010

What is a mother? One might receive a very general, vague answer to that question from definition 1a in Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary of “a female parent.” And to too many infants, children, teenagers, and adults, their mothers are just that…a female parent. But to others, a mother is defined by so much more. Further down in the list of online dictionary entries reads that a mother is “maternal tenderness or affection.”

What does the Bible have to say about mothers? In Titus 2:4, the Greek word philoteknos appears in reference to mothers loving their children. How do we love our children? The following can and should be applied to both mothers and fathers, but for the sake of Mother’s Day this weekend, I am dedicating this post to mothers (fathers, feel free to read and apply this to your relationship with your child(ren)).

First, mothers are available to their children…no matter the day or time. I cannot remember a time when my mother was not available for me. Even now that I am an adult, living eight hours away from my mother, she is still available whenever I call upon her.

Second, mothers are involved in their children’s lives. Mothering a child is not a spectator’s sport. Not only was my mother at every last school/church/social event for and with me, but she truly enjoyed herself. Involving herself in my life’s events was never a chore for her.

Third, mothers are teachers. My mother took the time to teach me how to be a woman of God. Given the opportunity, I am certain my mother would go back and change a few things about the way she raised me (I only say this because she has mentioned this a time or two), but in the grand scheme of mothering, she certainly taught me a great deal of worthwhile information, based on Biblical principles.

Fourth, mothers are encouraging coaches. A prime example is this: I was and always will be horrendous when it comes to sports. I do not possess one athletic bone in my body, and I paid for it too many times as a child/teenage in school. I was the last to be picked on every team in Gym class, and my mother never had to sit through any sporting events to cheer me on. However, my mother certainly took the time to encourage me and help me find my strengths in other avenues of life. She never stood in my way or hindered my dreams about that which I was passionate.

Fifth, mothers discipline. This is a tough one. No loving mother wants to discipline her children. At least, I don’t! But discipline is a must…and every loving mother disciplines her children. We all know about the “spare the rod, spoil the child” philosophy spelled out for us in Proverbs. And whether you choose to use a “rod” as a form of discipline or not is completely beside the point here. The point is this: disciplining your children in a loving manner is what the Bible commands us to do. We, as adults, need discipline in our lives. Children, who are still so young and naïve, need it even more. I never understood the love of a mother until I became one myself. I also never understood the meaning behind, “I’m only disciplining you because I love you,” or “This hurts me more than it hurts you” until I became a mother as well. The look on Triniti’s face when I am disciplining her just breaks my heart, but I know that discipline is truly for her own good. One HUGE part that goes along with discipline, however, is that it must be done in love. To quote my sister (who quoted someone else), “Rules without a relationship ends in rebellion.” It is absolutely pivotal that children know why there is a need for discipline, and that mothers are truly disciplining out of love…not anger, stress, impatience, revenge etc.

Sixth, mothers are nurturers. When I think of the word nurturer, the first image that immediately pops into my head is of a mother comforting her child when he/she is crying. And while that may be a nice picture of nurturing, the meaning extends much further. Children need our support, our approval, our acceptance, our affection, our unconditional love, the freedom to fail. I think maybe out of everything I have mentioned thus far, my mother taught me how to be nurturing the most. Being nurturing came very naturally to my mother. She was most often the very first person I would approach when I needed to talk with someone or needed comfort. Why? Because she was a nurturing mother…she was supportive, affectionate, loved me unconditionally, and allowed me to fail. Does this mean I got away with failing whenever I pleased? Of course not! But it was in those times of failing that she taught me, with love, how to succeed.

Seventh (and finally), mothers model with integrity. It’s wonderful to talk a good talk. But mothers who live out what they talk is even better! I pray each and every day that Triniti will see God in me…that I will “practice what I preach.” And that I will not be hypocritical and have double standards in regards to what may be “right” for me but “wrong” for her. Deuteronomy 4:9 says this, “Be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”

For me personally, I grew up in a home where my mother was so much more than “a female parent.” She displayed philoteknos; she loved her children. But never did I truly, fully understand the love of a mother until I became one just over two years ago. The moment I first held Triniti at her eleventh hour of life, I fully comprehended the meaning of philoteknos. Words cannot accurately describe what it means to me to be a mother. I can say, however, that it far exceeds any expectations or thoughts I had prior to becoming a mother. And being a mother gives me a very slight glimpse into the awesome love that God has for us. I cannot possible imagine my mother loving me more than she does, or I loving Triniti more than I already do…but God loves us even more than all of that love combined!

Mom, I want to take a moment and say, “Thank You,” yet again for being the true definition of a mother…for being more than “a female parent.” You have been so very instrumental in my life; you have always been there for me; and I thank God for giving me the most wonderful Mom to call my own. I know you have mentioned a time or two in the past that if you could go back and do some things differently, you would…but I truly have no complaints. You always provided me with a safe-haven at home when I did not feel safe anywhere else. You were always there for every last event and special occasion. You were there whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on. You were there to cheer me on as well as wipe my tears. And you still are…you have truly become one of my very best friends…one I can confide in and know that you will lift me up in prayer. In my two short years of being a mother, I can already see so many similarities between how you love me and how I love Triniti.

And Triniti, I want to take a moment to say, “Thank You” for making it so easy and wonderful to be a mother to you. Sweetheart, you are my world. I would give/do anything for you…and I pray that God continues to mold me into the mother you need me to be for you. I cannot thank God enough for blessing me with the awesome responsibility of being your mother…you continue to amaze me, and your precious life has taught me so much. Your faith is incredible, and the love you show to others just flows out of you so naturally. May you always know how blessed I am to be your mother…and may you always feel loved unconditionally. I love you, Trini.

To all of the mothers reading this post…Happy Mother’s Day…and may God continue to bless each and every one of you for your 24/7 job of being a mother.